Our 1st Anniversary

Marriage life has been great so far. Meaningful and blessed. It is not easy as how people would potray. Social media is a platform where happy memories will be shared.

Honestly, this is a priceless experience that one can ask for. Being a mum after a year we are married. Who would expect? If not, last year I am still in daze what will the future be like. Who knows it is my maternity leave and busy handling a newborn and juggling being a wife.

I have learnt that how long your relationship with your partner before marriage is totally different than being married. Every single thing may be the opposite but that makes the marriage journey interesting. It fits like a glove though at times you feel like were you totally ready for all this. The opposite makes us complete. 
This milestone is indeed a good celebration for  both of us. Alot that we need to learn and this is the begining of more journey of us together and our lil family. 🤗

Zara sofea, a gift for us. The biggest gift. 

And dearest husband,

Thank you for being the amazing dad to our daughter! (:
Xoxo

Jaundice: Every newborn woes

It has been 1 month and 21 days? I should say close to 2 months…

 

Zara jaundice was extremely high when she is 3 weeks old. It was a lil bit disheartening as we did her follow up jaundice in Kinder Clinic. We were very upset as we felt failure as a parent as her jaundice didn’t subside. First time parents you see, and it was a rainy season. Mr sun just does not want to shine and help us. Furthermore, we were occupied with visitings and all. Somehow it was pretty hard. We felt blessed that our lil girl is strong. We decided to follow the next appointment the following week. To our surprise, it just drop a lil.  When she was discharged, her jaundice was 140, then it went to 218 and subsided to 208 based on our last check up. It was pretty far for us to travel from our place to the Kinder Clinic @ Mount E Novena. Thus, we decided to just continue to check at Poly since our pd advised to do a liver test and we are just not keen to comeback there (not because of service but distance and due to work shift patterns of husband)

 

Liver test apparently is not something polyclinic does. What they usually do is a full blood test to check on the ratio of direct and indirect bilirubin in our daughter’s body/ result was pretty good. The jaundice level went down to 44 but somehow doctor there mentioned that the ratio is bit far too off like more than 10% of the expected amount. This, was nt clearly explained. She referred us to KKH to do the actual liver test (SIGH) and we thought the result was pretty satisfying but she said it wasn’t. I asked what were the consequences and she just brushed it off to tell us to go to the hospital.

 

Before our next appointment at KKH, we just don’t want our baby to just do any random blood test we went back to her pd at Kinder clinic to get further clarification. So, apparently the doctor also advised us just to make sure her liver is functioning well in case that was the main cause of the jaundice still present after baby even 41 days old. Clinically our daughter is just doing fine.

We wanted to take the 1st month jab at Poly bt were advised to make sure her jaundice s cleared before her jab. So, as a FTP we also follow the advise.

At KKH, the private clinic….

doctor reviewed and mentioned there is nothing to be worried. I make sure Zara drank well, poop and well prepared for the blood test. Apparently…it was a wasted trip. We were scolded when we tried to explain it to the doc as per advised by our PD…. he affirmed us that they got it wrong as our total jaundice level is not high. thus, the ratio was not something we ought to be worried.

he quickly discharged us from KKH. so, that is the end of our Jaundice woes….

 

So, lesson here is to just  make sure jaundice level is just below the worried level. Then, it should be fine.

 

and so….we scheduled an appointment for her first month jab!(:

more of this will be shared..as i believe we know nuts about free jabs for Singaporean babies! heheee..

Anyway, I am just keeping this entry for memories sake as everything seems alien to us. Oh, Zara has shown some smiles, laughters and giggles =) priceless moments with her!

 

got to go now =)

Backache woes

Nothing new having a lower back ache.
I hurt my back while doing house chores and taking care of my baby. But, i wont trade anything else for this. Recovery is abit hard. And I am in the clinic now. I need to eat on iron tablet again;(  cos scared of anemia (whatever it is called as)
Nevertheless, i am proud that I kept on eating painkiller in tablets as long as i can wake up and care for my dearest daughter. Thankful that i am staying with my mum that she can give me a helping hand. 

Confinement ending tomorrow and i guess it will be prolonged due to this back ache..
Lets pray for a speedy recovery!

She turns 1 month!

……that means it has been 1 month since parenthood journey! ***HOOOORAY***

Her smiles, cries, and responses really made my day truly =)

Especially late night, despite her cries…when she needs the milk..and when she is satisfied..the smiles and eyes… you just can’t describe..

She loves her morning bath so much I guess? it seems every morning during cleaning her, she will be so so so happy. Tomorrow we will botak her head! yeayyyyness!

And, we will be  1 year into marriage life =) Time flies..

who would have known this is what I will be jotting down 11 months after we are married. last year, I was still busy at work, settling berkats and all.. but now? changing diapers, feeding, laundry and online shopping with dearest daughter. Every single shopping I would channel it for her instead=) hahah! normal I guess..

I have been comparing pricing for diapers, wipes and formula milk and all vice versa its way cheaper  in JB. I didn’t wanna just go there to stock up. But it seems, its more worth to buy there as we can stock up our detergents and also stomach=P I want nandos please! =)))

31 days of confinement…9more days!!! **YIPEEE***

haha but honestly, I have been gg out for appointments and 1 cheat day at the airport=P Nevertheless all is well! Alhamdulillah…but its bit challenging to change diapers in public areas as sometimes the nursing room is dirty or non-parents friendly. If husband can be inside with us it would be good, but at times its only in the female toilet. and when little baby cries loudly and push herself, it is so stressful. But, i begin to just close my ears when she cries and make sure her safety come first and she is well cleaned.

This leave made me have more time, thus the frequent updates that I am having now 🙂

I love reading wedding updates from brides to be and attending weddings too! but it seems we need to get ready 3 hrs in advance ( THATS ME) to put on make up and all…time management!!! haha

okay la, i guess thats all fr now..

Happy 1month sayang!

Morning Rush

Every morning dilemma..
To feed her, she will fall asleep. If she sleeps its time for her to ‘shower’ and means she will wake up and cycle never ends😂 

Night dilemma, if we feed and she poops, we clean and she will be awake again. And cycle continues.

At the end of the day there is no exact way to handle it.  So mother instinct? I have no idea either. Dearest daughter is a light sleeper. So, when she is about to sleep we need a complete silence but once she is asleep any noise wont wake her up 🤣( like me!)S

I dont know if she is always hungry but the doctor say cn just feed her as long as she wants. From the start she feeds alot but then gg to 1 month i think its just that she is growing. 
Her birth weight is 3.6kg then became 3.4kg and now its 4.1kg! Alhamdulillah, although she took 2 weeks to regain back to 3.6kg on her 3rd week. Now a month she is already 4.1kg.

Short Vacay?

Every single day, I felt i needed a short gateway.

This confinement we have been busy with appointments and dearest daughter is still having jaundice. We followed up through polyclinic but was not satisfied with the verdict. They referred us to KKH. The problem is, it was at 208 last check but overall dropped to 44. We believe it is safe to go without another check up and did ask what is the consequences? The doctor kept repeating that they would refer to hospital to do thorough check if its other things that causing the jaundice.

But one thing, we have tried using our Caboo DX+ carrier and it sees dearest daughter can sleep comfortably for long!:)  and breastfeeding on the go is more fun then stucked on the bed. She feeds more at home as compared to outside. I have no idea why (any inputs on this for FTM?) Last check with her doctor they said she looks clinically find though..

dilemma of gg hospital is like a waiting game and almost every week we are gg to and fro. She will be having her 1 month jab soon and was not encouraged by the poly people saying cos her jaundice is not cleared, so which is which?

 

as much as I am happy dearest daughter turning 1 month..it means I am left with 3 months..=(

I am counting down to our short vacay and we are 11 months into marriage life. WOOOO..next month is our anniversary!!:D

 

sooooo where to?!

I wanna go back to korea soooooooo badly!!!

any ideas?

 

oh that reminded we need to make a passport pronto! heheee

okay la gtg!!!

Redha 

I know this word Redha is easier to be said than to be done. 

Honestly, rezeki comes in alot of ways as advised by my husband as a reminder. Sometimes, we need a timely one. 

Not easy recuperate and handling bad news at a go. I kept crying when i had a time to myself. All I wanted is some calm and me time. Husband is damn worried that I will fall to psot partum depression. Somehow, i felt i did feel blue most of time. 

I felt bad for my lil zara. She is indeed a fighter. She went through a whole lot of emotions in me. I felt she could connect deep within me. Its funny when i look at her i felt very guilty. I should give her a wonderful journey in me and I should not tire myself up. 

I worked hard, stayed up and just do things as if i was not pregnant. If i couldnt do my routine i will feel handicapped and demoralised. As i had a very weak body during my first trimester.

Then again, Zara is the rezeki that Allah grantded me and my husband. A smooth delivery that I should also be very thankful of. 

I can clearly remember each event that is going on throughout the pregnancy and how i want kt to end quickly as i felt miserable. All i wanted is to be back on my feet and keep running. 

My ego self thought me alot and it made me super exhausted. Its a sign that i need to accept my flaws and lower the angst in me.
As i see my child cries and sleep. Or sometimes she show signs of distress ( dont know if its normal), i questioned myself is it due to my stressful pregnancy environment? I kinda blamed myself for it.
But, now is the time where i need to learn her behaviour. A wonderful 3 weeks experience but im getting myself used to the whole new life changing experience i am facing now..
Wish me luck..

A lil bit blue

I felt choked. 

Occupied

Speechless.
Nothing in this line of job is fair enough.

 I felt cheated and also hurt. 
If its already a sign, please lead me the path.
All i know this is too much to handle 

Day 19 of being a mum

It feels so surreal, but maybe not as awkward as I experienced looking at my mum taking care of my nephew.

Definition of missing someone that is in front of you? Yes, you will eventually feel it when you are with your child. In this case, I miss my daughter every time.

It is weird being a first time mum. The moment your child sleeps you want her to be awake, but when she is awake you just want her to sleep. *Guilty* ( who else felt the same way?) Knowing that sleeping is good for them, I don’t mind them being asleep so that I can catch up on my resting time. Little did I know, I am getting more deaf by the day but the sound of my girl crying can just literally wakes me up and made me jump off the bed.

Finally, I am done with the massage after giving birth and recuperating very well by the day. My mum ankle was fractured so she is on crutches/wheelchair so it isa bit hard for her to mend the baby too. Husband has been the greatest support thus far. He made sure I had sufficient food and recover well throughout.

I don’t know why, but I cried sometime to sleep feeling guilty or that I have done nothing for Zara (My girl’s name btw). When I feed her, constantly i feel that it is never enough if she didn’t sleep back after her sleep or after diaper change. Diaper change with her can be madness! She can poop 2-3 times while changing and sometimes even pee. But, Alhamdulillah that she is doing fine thus far. I am one paranoid mum nowadays. Her jaundice level is so far so good and she will have another appointment by 10th February. We have been doing alternatives for her. Bathing with kayu merah, goats milk + breast milk (we mixed feeds btw) and of course bring her out under the sun.

Sleeping is now harder by the day as she wakes 2-3times per night and can last for 1-1.5hrs. I pity husband once he needs to get back to work. Must be hard for him too. I am sure this girl will be a daddy’s girl (:

I am surviving I guess. I am typing while she is asleep….

and I guess she will be awake soon ( cos of the sounds she made!!)

she sleeps like me so much =P

okay gtg now!